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i need to rethink my post
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Thoughts on Body betrayal
Hi gogogomes. I thought about your post and wanted to share. I think we all at some point (or many points) feel our body has betrayed us or is alien from the body we once possessed. And I personally have found that the “fight” metaphor many of us use to push through a day or through a particular obstacle helpful, can at times leave me unassisted. It is why I often find myself tearing up as I leave the grocery store: shopping requires me to ignore my vertigo, lack of balance, rubbery legs, and weak core muscle spasms. But Even if I have a grocery store employee put the bags in my car, I still need to drive home safely, bring the bags inside, and put away. If i didn’t plan correctly, I might need to cook immediately after trip or tell family they are a la carte for the night. Why do I still shop? Because I want to do it and don’t want to give it up to MS. So I essentially “fight” MS symptoms to grocery shop. The problem is that my fight isn’t going away. It’s like a war with no resolution hoped for. I understood this better when I oddly found myself jealous of a friend with cancer because she could fight and possibly win. She had chemo and surgery and suffered greatly, but everyone rallied to support her for her entire illness and then everyone rejoiced with her when she beat it. I watched with envy as she got stronger and healthier. Her body betrayed her but she put it back in line. I had to be introspective to sort my thinking all out. With MS, for me, it is a very different experience. There is no end game, no hoped for resolution. Friends and family don’t connect to my illness in the same way as something one can fight and beat. My body betrayed me. Period. I found sometimes I need to not “fight” my body but embrace it with compassion. It has put up with me pushing it past it’s strength, staying up too late, or indulging in too many potato chips. I try to listen to it more when it says rest or stretch. I try to feed it better with good food and exercise. I sometimes choose not to shop or have someone else make dinner. Self-compassion, I think, is as useful and perhaps better than the “fight” metaphor to get through a MS day.
A friend introduced me Dr. Neff’s ideas On self compassion. Here is a link
https://www.integrativepainsciencein...stin-neff-phd/
Dr Neff can also be found on YouTube videos.
Here, are Three simple ways to increase self compassion if chronically ill
https://drsoph.com/blog/2018/9/17/3-...elf-compassion
Here is
Evidence based article that self compassion is useful for dealing with chronic illness
https://self-compassion.org/wp-conte...Sirois2016.pdf
Stay well,
Virtual hugs, Suebee
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