Frustrated

[walkerhe09]

Just a little background, I received my diagnosis in 2009. I have been lucky and had not had any new issues until December, 2014. I was in great shape prior to the episode. I ran a 2 hour 1/2 marathon in late November and finally felt like I was overcoming the issues from 2009. Then I wake up in late December and cannot even run a mile due to weakness in my right leg (no pain, no heads up). I have been trying to get back into running and going to physical therapy but I find myself both frustrated and scared. Frustrated because I know it will probably not improve much and scared of coming to the realization about how bad it really is and how quickly things can happen. I have not told anyone about my latest episode except my wife (my medical people obviously) and it is hard for someone not living it to understand. I really have no purpose with this post other than to vent. I try to remain positive and deal with it but it is tough. I know people have it much worse but there are a ton of people who don't and take it for granted.

Sorry for rambling

[Suebee]

I never ran a marathon but I was very active and enjoyed skiing running and hiking before MS. I get what you are saying. TRX did amazing things for me. Some here have great PTs to help. Most importantly, don't give up. I have pictures of 2 MS athletes on my iPhone to refer to when I want pep talk. Jillian Walsh and Maureen Manley. Both have used adaptive devices to cycle and run. Jillian completed an ironman! She had orthotic brace on foot. Maybe a sports
pT expert can help you find ways to aide your running. Best of luck, and keep us posted. It's exciting to hear about each other' s successes.

[Ellie]

I am sorry to hear of your struggles. I too am a runner with MS that is struggling. I was diagnosed August 2014. I am trying to come to terms that I am not as fast as I was before MS. I didn't have a new flare up but I guess it was based my flare up last year. I do understand the frustration. Just try to remember when you do get out there to run or anything else that you are kicking MS butt every step you take no matter how fast! I hope that you will be able to get back to what you love soon!

[Veronica]

Walkerhe09, First off, glad you vented. We all need to do that at times. This disease demands that we keep redefining ourselves, and it sounds like this is something you are going through. Whether you end up getting more of your running back or not, I hope you can find enjoyment in the training, even when it is not at the level that you want. Maybe you can get this back, maybe not. I hope you have a PT who knows MS, or has read up on literature of the interval training techniques for PWMS that are out there. Also, one of the many things that I have learned from my PT Herb is that at times you have to not look at the distance, but at the form. I’ve found for myself that when I really scrutinize a movement of mine that is off, where fatigue is factoring in too soon or I just have no nerve/muscle connection, I bring it to Herb and we usually find something with my body mechanics that needs tweaking. Doesn’t mean it is a quick fix, or a fix at all, but I have to say that it makes me feel good that I am attacking the MS as best I can. Do I always get improvement? Well, no, many times I do, but there are some movements that just seem to defy all the exercises that I try. Some improvements have happened over the long haul, and then plateaued. When this happens I know that it is the very best that my body and I can do, and that makes me very satisfied, and I have to admit, proud. And it is KEEPING me at a stronger level to keep fighting this disease. I can no longer ride the way I used to, or do the miles of the past, and have needed to redefine myself as a cyclist over and over. It is heartbreaking for sure to go through that, and while I am so thrilled with my recumbent trike riding, I still get wistful at times about the past. Just do the best you can where you are now, and if you are fighting as hard as you can, then revel in that. You are an athlete. Period.

[walkerhe09]

Thanks so much for replying - I got an orthotic recently for my right leg and it seems to be helping. I am trying to remain positive. I am currently training or attempting to train for a 1/2 marathon in late October. Thanks again for your positive replies - I really appreciate it.

[walkerhe09]

I am back

So I completed my first 1/2 marathon since my episode in December on October 31st. I ran it in 2:19 which was a little slower than I wanted but it was nice to be finally back out there. Thanks everyone for all your support. I got another at the end of November hopefully I will get the time down a little.
Thanks again.

[cl3me]

Awesome and congrats!

[AMFADVENTURES]

Congrats and good luck with the next one, nice job.